I’m back, friends. After The Big Situation of 2017 (already!) I took some time off the interwebs to recalibrate. I was feeling icky about the downsizing at work, I was feeling even more icky about turning to my old demon of shopping to console myself, and it was obvious I needed a timeout to think of healthier ways to get some TLC.
After taking some time out to think about a big-picture, all-encompassing self-care plan, I can report I feel refreshed and excited to implement some healthy, frugal habits. When writing the title for this post, I was filled with gusto and thoughts such as”Rising from the Ashes!” or “Phoenix Rises!” and other ridiculous sentiments came to mind, to which I gave a nod to terrible millenial-vernacular and thought “lolz”and took myself down a few notches. It’s more like a hobble out of the ashes…covered in dust… coughing up little dustballs. A little worse for wear, but out of the rubble nonetheless.
This week was a heavy one at work. On Tuesday morning we all walked into our workplace, but over a dozen of us were gone by lunch. I was not on the chopping block, but losing so many co-workers so suddenly has really shaken us all up. There’s nothing like a job scare to really get you facing the cold hard facts about your financial stability.
It’s funny that the mood in the office has been one of doom and gloom; aren’t the rest of us supposed to be sighing a deep exhale now, knowing we’re still gainfully employed? I’ve been through restructuring before and always on the better side of it, but it never has once felt good, or even mildly relieving to still be employed. I’ve realized that no matter if you land on the better side of the coin, you will inevitably look at your departed coworkers and think, “what in the world would I do if that was me?”
I’m a bit late on the new year’s money plan posts, but I’ve been stewing on my plans for a while now (while also fighting the flu, which may jsut be the real reason for the lack of posting). There were a few different paths for me to choose from, but I think I got it down.
There are a few different ways I considered approaching a budget: zero sum, traditional budget with an amount assigned to each category, the envelope method, etc. I find value in all of these. While wanting to follow a budget, I also wanted to up the ante on my shopping ban and go forward with a Buy Nothing New Year for 2017. So in the spirit of a buy nothing new year, I’ve come up with a plan.
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” – Mary Oliver
A good financial plan would ideally have some immediate, short-term, and long-term goals. For a recovering spendaholic like myself, immediate is going day-to-day with not blowing any money on shopping. Short-term is making sure all my debt payments are made early each and every month, and long-term is getting out of all my consumer debt.
However behind the goals, there’s an over-arching “why” that keeps them all in motion. I think everyone has a why. For some, being out of the red and owing nothing to no one is enough of a why to keep them going. There’s also many like my mom, who’s why is to make sure she will never be vulnerable if there should ever be a downturn in her small business, her family life, or the economy.
My why may be a bit more whimsy, and admittedly not centered on responsibility. Simply put, I don’t want to live in one place and have one “life” there. I don’t want a house, I don’t want the kids, I don’t want the 9 to 5. I don’t want the car or the lawn or the cottage or the pool or the garage. I have zero negative feelings towards those who do (to be clear, I believe being a loving parent is bar none the most important job in the world), I’ve just had 31 years to get to know myself, and I realize it’s simply not for me.
You know how they say it gets worse before it gets better? Seems like “they” can often be right. However there’s good news in that adage – it does eventually get better.
I have sadly gone backwards since my last roundup. I had a tax reassessment and the result wasn’t pretty. I don’t want to make an issue out of it because I am truly grateful that I live in a safe place with a high quality of life, but I think I’m allowed to say it can really sting when your employer takes the wrong tax amount and you get a very unwelcome letter from the CRA in the mail. What a punch to the gut.
So here’s my new round up:
Growing up, we didn’t have Black Friday here in Canada. It just wouldn’t make sense; our Thanksgiving is in October. However I’ve noticed a weird phenomenon happen in the past 5 years or so; along with all other symbols of unabashed capitalism (like Wal-Mart and Costco), Black Friday has trickled its way north of the border.
In the past, we would don our lumberjack shirts, sit next to our pet moose and swig maple syrup while watching the Black Friday stampedes that were going on in the US. Ok, perhaps everything but the moose – the point I’m trying to make is that this sales apocalypse was once uniquely American; ergo, non-Canadian. We had Boxing Day and that was that. So I find it bizarre that we don’t even have a major holiday preceding Black Friday but we’ve taken it on and made it our own.
I put in a lot of effort to make sure my pup is well-behaved, and I’m always looking for ways to stimulate and train the little guy so he’s mentally occupied and happy. Now that he has the basic commands down I want to teach him some more advanced tricks, so I’ve been reading a lot of great books on dog behavior and training. The most persistent message in every book is rewarding good behavior, and never punishing the pup when he doesn’t get it right. Every few paragraphs, I’m reminded to give my little furball lots of praise for his efforts and recognize all the hard work he’s putting in. Mistakes should be corrected, but effort should never go unnoticed, as he shouldn’t ever have negative associations with the positive end goal in mind. It all makes perfect sense to me.
Although there’s a big difference between a poodle and a person (however, there’s a lot more similarities than meets the eye!) all the reward and praise talk got me thinking about the goals I’m working towards and how hard on myself I can be. No, I can’t go give myself a treat every time I refrain from spending (although I wouldn’t mind a cheese-based rewards system!) but I can be really hard on myself for my failures and have completely overlooked the positive behaviours I’m already exhibiting. It’s no surprise that I’ve had many failed shopping bans in the past and have made negative associations with my ability to move from Spender to Saver.
There’s a funny thing about being told you can’t do something. It generally means that even if there was no prior desire to do aforementioned banned thing, you really want to do said thing now. Ain’t nobody gonna tell me what I can and can’t do! Except, uh, being told no/stop/don’t in many scenarios is perfectly valid and should be abided by. Especially when the person saying it is yourself, the thing in question is spending, and the reason is because it’s for your own good.
Since starting my shopping ban on October 24th, I want to spend ALL THE MONEY. Even with the woeful spending I had to do with my last minute move (for the moving truck, key deposits, mail forwarding, buying pizza and beer for the friends who helped) I still have a desire to spend some dough on fun stuff instead of lying low and licking my wounds.
Here is where many a “how not to shop” article or blog post would proceed with a point form list including the following: don’t step foot in the mall, don’t go on your favourite shopping site, block retailers from your email list, etc. To be honest, I feel like every one of these lists looks identical, leaving me both uninspired and unequipped to handle the very strong pangs of temptation. Yes, the basics should be mastered, but these are grade school building blocks and I’m trying to wrap my head around calculus.
My Shopping Ban was going great….for a whole 3 days. No, I haven’t pulled my credit cards out of the freezer and thawed the ice block they’re in (yes, I do that) and gone on off on a shopping spree followed by an impromptu flight to Vegas (yes, I’ve *unfortunately* done that) but I have had unexpected – yet necessary – expenses I couldn’t have ever predicted. In less than a week, my landlords told me they’re selling the place, scrambled to find a new one, and moved out 4 days later. It’s as bad as it sounds.
I won’t get into the whole kit and caboodle of the saga with my landlords and their pushy real estate agent; I get a headache at the thought of it and I trust you will too. However I will note this little birdie brushed up on her tenant rights real quick and gave them a list of serious grievances I could report (from no Notice of Leave, to not giving me 60 days, to never giving us 24-hour notice before entering into my apartment for showings) so we worked out a little deal. If I move out by November 1st (this was October 28th, mind you) not only would I not need to pay for November – which is a given anyways – but they’ll give me my last month’s rent back. Seeing Toronto rents (including mine) are bonkers and 2 months’ worth of rent is a pretty penny, I got to packing!